Lau Lukkarila – Nyxxx
Dear Notebook,
I nearly forgot to take you with me when I left the house after a stressful dystopic week of media events. By stressful I mean mental stress, which this apocalyptic moments cause for probably all people, but especially for the sensitive ones. But let me start over new to explain my individual situation.
Two years ago I traveled to Southeast Asia for my first trip outside of Europe. Back then I caught a parasite that can cause problematic symptoms, which I only found out about a while ago. The battle between me and my bacteria began slowly but became bigger and caused more irritations over time. Unfortunately, I made the decision to take medication to kill it in a highly unfortunate moment when the western world and media was full of panic from a certain virus. A war in my stomach began for 5 days. The war continued to invade my head as things outside became turbulent and even more so when I looked through my screen. When I arrived on Friday the 13th at the only and last showing of Lau Lukarilla's pieces Nyxxx , all these pieces of information were in my timeline of the week and the date and the atmosphere could not better mirror these certain aspects.
After we waited a little, I neurotically cleaned my hands twice before we were given access to the massive space of Ankersaal. Between the seats Xs had been placed in order to guide people to keep their distance. I found this a suiting metaphor for what I would then notice in following parts of the piece. The distance. The light welcoming the audience created a dystopic entrance. For me art is an experience and so I want to judge the art piece by my personal experience with it. It‘s a chance to be able to be in touch with one‘s inner emotions or other's inner emotions.
Back to Laus piece: it started already as a performance of its own with all the hygienic procedures being taken before the actual piece. It suited the work as it would give some parts a broader interpretation. Cleaning the surface in order to stay healthy. But with focusing on cleaning just the surface maybe one could never go deeper into meaningful connection?! In certain moments of the piece I felt that this was what Lau tried to tell me. But then I wasn't sure again. Was it just my opinion that I was seeing in it with my own history?
The piece started and the performer appeared in an apocalyptic modern image of the grim reaper rolling around on a scooter in an underworld matrix skate park. The lighting and the first monologue revealed a dark side of it to me. Later on, the set, the costume,the atmosphere and the played techno tracks would take me back on an inner trip to my own dark underworld rave times in Berghain where disconnected sex and unconnected desire were so over prominent that it would overwhelm me. But what is the underworld for me? This is a topic of interest as I felt that for most of my twenties I lived as someone from this underworld ... as a transgender person I experienced often this feeling of being the secretly desired object. Mostly that happened online. Hardly to never, people or especially men, would have the courage to speak out on this desire in their daily life sadly. At night in the club I had the chance to express my erotic side in my dance which I mostly never had in date situations as on a human level this was often erased from me. The dance and therefore an erotic expressing kept me going to the club for a while. Seeing the piece and Laus expression of their eroticism in order to work through one‘s owns experiences of someone who like me grew up in a post-romantic generation, where you easily can be filled and soaked in with endless images of porn or hypersexualized chat contents, kept me thinking and seeing a link between my own experiences and those of the dancer in front of me. Like Lau choosing the character Nyx, the goddess of the night in Greek mythology, as their piece title and inspiration. I was also always drawn to the night and especially nightlife.
The night...nightlife, the part of the day where the „unofficial“ life is blooming. Where there are less boundaries as in the official world at day, but yet they are hardly completely erased.
In nightlife as in the internet, I found it always hard to find meaningful connection. It is and was always a struggle. A pain, that feels similar in its intensity to the pain I felt in my muscles for the three days after I had attended Lau's workshop in Tanzquartier where they presented their artistic research from the past year as a scholar. This muscle pain reminded me of the pain and struggle of finding relevance in a over-saturated pornalized media world where lines like „sex sells“ have big priority. Where pictures of asses, muscles and boobs on social media will get more attention than meaningful content like solidarity and care. This reads more like „end of the world“ than „underworld“. Is it really so hard nowadays to find relevance in (sexual) relationships? Is it still possible? And if yes...how to achieve this? Or do I only feel this way? I guessed that Lau was asking themselves the same questions and trying to convert them into the piece. For myself I‘m still not having the answers yet, so all I can do is to go on looking for them. I will have to continue my own research.
When I find them I'll let you know dear notebook. Talk soon.
Mathea Magdalena is a transgender artist interested in creating interactive visual and performative spaces, situations and environments with an interdisciplinary approach. They are currently studying at the academy of fine arts in Vienna in the contextual painting class. Their subjects include processing (sexual) trauma experiences through self-empowerment strategies.
Events
Lau Lukkarila
Nyxxx (14. & 15. März abgesagt)
brut all over Vienna
brut nordwest
barrierefrei
Nordwestbahnstraße 8-10, 1200 Wien
U-Bahn: U1, U2 (Praterstern), U4 (Friedensbrücke), U6 (Dresdnerstraße) Tram: 5 (Nordwestbahnstraße) Bus: 5A (Wasnergasse)
Treffpunkt: Gasthaus Hansy am Praterstern
barrierefrei
Heinestraße 42, 1020 Wien
U-Bahn: U1, U2 (Praterstern) / S-Bahn: S1, S2, S3, S4, S7 (Praterstern) / Tram: 5 (Praterstern)
brut im Bank Austria Kunstforum Wien
barrierefrei
Freyung 8, 1010 Wien
U-Bahn: U1 (Stephansplatz), U2 (Schottentor), U3 (Herrengasse) / Tram: 1, 37, 38, 40, 41, 42, 43, 44 (Schottentor) / Bus: 1A, 2A (Herrengasse U), 3A (Renngasse)
Rote Bar im Volkstheater
barrierefrei
Arthur-Schnitzler-Platz 1, 1070 Wien
U-Bahn: U3 (Volkstheater) / Tram: 49 (Volkstheater) / Bus: 48A (Volkstheater)
brut am Sportplatz 1210
barrierefrei
Jedlersdorfer Platz 25, 1210 Wien
U-Bahn: U6 (Florisdorf) / S-Bahn: S1, S2, S3, S4, S7 (Floridsdorf) / Tram: 30, 31 (Brünner Straße / Hanreitergasse) / Bus: 30A, 32A (Toni Fritsch Weg)
studio brut
nicht barrierefrei
Zieglergasse 25, 1070 Wien
U-Bahn: U3 (Zieglergasse), Tram: 49 (Westbahnstraße / Zieglergasse)
brut nordwest – Proberäume
nicht barrierefrei
Nordwestbahnstraße 8-10, 1200 Wien